Sigh 😔 when my coworker did give me stress & others stressor..

Sigh 😔 when my coworker did give me stress & others stressor from working there. Stressor of family claiming it okay if mother abuusee me. It help me a lot from 2020 through now.

I listen to this song month before my injuries. 9/11/2020 and without it I think I might given up a bit.

~ Ay,we bravely just Shout

"Just Say it all"

Fighting against the

world, Don’t wanna die

But so much pain, too much crying
So many ups and downs “dulled blades”

Me; Didn’t want to diee because I was afraid of going to hell. I thought maybe I did deserve it for not being the greatest person and working on myself for once. Maybe I did deserve the abusee and trauma and now I’m in pain for life. Would I die suffering in hell as well. Those thoughts was when I was injured and slowly losing everything one by one with extreme pain. Half of the Family claim it was okay for me to be abusee.


I was torment and make fun of all my life and now company with money have inflicted nerve damage, delay of life saving surgerical procedure and fibromyalgia upon me. Purposely stalking me and my every move like I did something wrong to them when that shittty supervisor and human resource aunt enable the toxic coworker behavior. If I stood up against it I was causing “drama”. When it comes to them calling out they didn’t give a Fuckk. Favorite them to move to shift earlier as well.

When Deborah came she didn’t tolerate them and fired them. She helped me because she knew I have some sort of nerves issues and want to make a case against them with the help of a kinder human resource Ashley from the main plant. She knew, that I can seek justice. Even though I didn’t know what was happening at that time, they choose to save my life even Workercomp Doctor Ms. Ransom knew it was very serious and protect me from that cruel company. They work for them but still risk their job for me. I’m very privileged and they did send guidance. 🥺 Still have guilt for many who diee every year or the past centuries with no justice. 😭 They diee without much help, but I still survive with a lot of help. 🥲

We are bullet bullet bulletproof,
In the face of negative views, we did it

We wisely prevented all the bad memories and many trials. Bullet proof
I always think maybe it still in my dreams.

Was it really spring that came to end of long winter?

Everyone laughed at me, and I was ashamed of my name, this is proof of steel “BULLETPROOF”.

Many traumatic events, harassment and medical gaslighting me wasn’t fun. I still survive those painful spring and winters. They all laugh and mock at me strangers, family, medical provider, government workers, evil witch who trapped me for 10 month, her son who inflict harm laugh at my nerve pain shooting dart at me, harming my cat, pedobbbeae witch who try to use me for money because I want to repay my aunt and cousin who fed me and help me during stupid apartment issues management who laugh at me. Prior 2019-2020 Everyone in that red neck state during school would laugh at my name Pakuja but they didn’t know it was my heaven name given by my shaman grandma when my Vang father adopt me when I was 2. It meant something more than their name. Glitter gold flower. I used to hate it but realized that all of them who make fun of me is getting nowhere in life until this day. And no one know them and their name. Learn why BTS called them bulletproof in Korea because they endured hardship and shame from many people who laugh and made fun of them. Look at how far they grew when I first was their fan in 2016.

(Yeah we got to heaven)

Throw all the things at me

im not afraid of it anymore

We are (2×) together bulletproof

(Yeah we have you,have you)

I used to be so scared of people harming me because I knew it will happen. When they fired my aunt I knew in the future if something bad happen to me they going make me suffered because of her. I was right it did happen. I felt the grudge the whole time. I’m not scared of people no more because God protect me the best he can and show many rainbow every month with or without rain to not give up on life. I won’t go to hell at all. Maybe to heaven with many cats. A paradise with me and those cute furry creature hopefully with some tigers, cheetah, and bobcats too. Not scared of them causing harm because if I do die soon or later I won’t have to see them in my heaven.


Tell me your every story

Tell me why you dont stop this

Tell me why you still walking

walking,With US

(Yeah we get to heaven)


I didn’t know people would care about my story. My mother would forcedd me to rip out my diary about how cruel she was. I learn when typing my pain journal it was reminder of how cruel of many people was towards me and how I want to give up on life so badly. When I reread it all I realized that God has a plan for me and my story. I can help someone who suffering similar situation with guiding them and giving them advice about legal situations. Finding second opinions, getting medical insurance in different state and treatment. Different laws for every state and laws for hospitals. Laws can be federal and constitutional despite what state laws requiresd. Retaining evidence before it gets change from medical records. Recording evidence of crime/ malpractice is federal and be used against you despite state laws. Finding a lawyer who will help you for you and not pay over $100 and more for a lawyer over social security, personal injuries and human civil rights because it mean those lawyers that are charging you upfront want to scam you for money and pretend to help you but to lose your case. The ones I have luckily warn me about corruptive situation and told me why they can’t represent me or to try to find new one. They never charge me upfront or represent me to lose in court with them because they knew my hardship and want me to win. Yes they get compensation when they win the case in court they get like 25 percentage or so forth. I think not on divorce lawyer, private one about criminal case and traffic ticket attorney because it more front forwards up cost $500 and quick case hearing or complex.

Many people read my pain journal and understood how difficult it was for me. To be torment constantly by everyone and now to be pain until I diee. It unfair when many people are getting away with harming me and want me to diee. They were on my side it was 50/50 against the one who didn’t want to loose money or be held for accountability for their greed. I wasn’t alone because many want me to win even though I didn’t want this in the first place. I know if I do win I want to help people who live difficult hardship and to help the one who helped me along the way, it wasn’t fun. I hope to change people prospective about God. He’s real and did capture every rainbow he send me and the date. God doesn’t discriminate any religion and he very forgivable. If you do repent your sin and become a better human being. He didn’t like the one who cause those abusee but want me to save other from their abuseer . If I diee there be no law against those vile people and to prevent those things happening constantly everyday: They lose their job, health, home, car and their life. I’m lucky to keep surviving because they all believe in me when I don’t at times. Even God believe in me the most. Sending 🌈. The reason why BTS is famous because they work hard, respect others and write songs to not give up on life. I have a story and people are willing to listen to my story when many at school laugh at the thought of my trauma and story. They say get over it and no one cares. Toward them no one care about your story or the way you’re for being so mean and vile. Thinking it okay for people to cause trauma and abusee because they can get away with it. People do care for my story. Even when I heard this song 5 years ago I thought about how people laugh and mock me and say no one give a shiit about you Crystal deal with it. Now I realize I do have many stories many struggle and people do care for me as a human being. You hateful ppl in nc cause nothing but hate!

https://youtu.be/d-Fb38_xMOY?si=PWMLP0b8FSRTYC3z